Where Imperfection Hangs Out
My family loves the daily Wordle puzzle, and I try to carve out a few minutes to solve and share on our text thread at some point during each busy day. It’s a fun break and one of the little ways that my family connects when we’re not together. I was stumped the other day and despite my best effort, failed to solve the puzzle within the allotted five tries. It wasn’t the first time, but I shocked my kids by what I did next.
Just as I usually do with my 3 or 4-word successful solves, I shared my failure on our group chat. Both of my boys responded with their own versions of, “What? You didn’t solve it, Mom? Why did you even post that???!!”
I knew they’d be surprised, but I didn’t think they would respond with such shock. And really, I realized that I should be sharing WAY more of my failures and what isn’t going exactly the way I planned it. I’m an entrepreneur who’s learning everything as I go and progress isn’t exactly a smooth upward trajectory. It’s more of an exhilarating, and sometimes completely terrifying roller coaster. But I’m doing the work, the learning, all the parts of putting myself out there when I don’t even know what I don’t know…yet.
That’s it, though. Our kids can’t see our whole process all the time, so we have to choose the snapshots we share with them. I say we elevate the moments of failure just as much as the successes…because that’s the reality of big work. That’s progress and that’s the only path to authentic growth.
When we only share the wins and the perfect versions of our days, kids miss seeing the imperfect moments and the messy process to get to the fabulous. Those are the learning, and those moments ARE the growth.
We need to get confident enough to share our imperfections, our failures, and our mistakes on the regular. Then our kids learn that we’re not just saying we love them just the way they are…we live out that message of authentic connection.
Our classrooms and households need to cultivate that psychological safety that invites imperfection to hang out. I know that’s where I want to be.
